The Tenth Doctor, David Tennant, had “ALLONS-Y!” The Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith, had “GERONIMO!” or sometimes “YOWZA!” The Ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston, had…well, mostly he said “Hello!” with a silly grin. For my wife and I, he was our first Doctor, so he gets a free pass.
The last two men to bear the Doctor Who mantle rallied us to their cause as they leaped into various forays with a flick of the sonic screwdriver, a fierce look in their eyes, and a snappy catchphrase to mark the exact moment at which their enemies’ downfall began. With one week to go until the August 23rd season premiere, plenty of questions remain for those of us who didn’t already rush to devour the Season 8 materials that were leaked prematurely onto the internet by impatient killjoys. To me, one question is most intriguing: what words will Peter Capaldi, the Twelfth Doctor, use to inspire us and his allies before running headlong into conflict?
From the Home Office in Indianapolis, IN: Top 10 Rejected Doctor Who Battle Cries:
10. “NORM!”
9. “WHO-WHO-KA-JOOB!”
8. “HASHTAG-VICTORY!”
7. “YES, WE CAN!”
6. “FRIES ARE UP!”
5. “WINNER GETS THIRTY MINUTES IN THE BALL PIT!”
4. “NO MORE DALEKS!”
3. “ASK ME HOW YOU CAN SAVE 15% ON CAR INSURANCE!”
2. “TEQUILA!”
And the number one Rejected Doctor Who Battle Cry:
1. “DOCTOR SMASH!”